aishasaad

If you notice, i never shared complex content, never argue on anything on my sites, and did not post too long posts.  i always keep it short and never shared about political views and never post finance detail related. One thing on the internet, i always considered my articles or any kind of work that i do on private mode.. The articles would be on copyrights state and never considered myself as a reference to others. My experience taught me that,  No matter how different field we are, never thought that we are much better than anyone else. He or she might be very good at communication skills, we need to learn that.  The moment we thought we are above than anyone, that is the moment we have failed.   In fact, having degree is not a greenlight to say that, i am gonna have a pretty well career. How many of the graduates faced the unemployment? This may a verdict towards, what is the point of learning... You learn because you are human that seeks knowledge and by t...

Hi all,  For the past 5 months, i have spent my time with learning typing without looking into the keyboard.. ok.. i lied, i looked a bit. I also didn't expect to spend most of my time with listening to the abuse victims in many kind of crimes and at last most of them found in learning made them more valuable and now some of them became a social volunteers, some became as psychologists. Aside of making sure mom's emotion to much more stable, I also invent new recipes for mom, which i never had when i was super young. I was really surprised mom liked it.   ok. at this point, you'll be wondering what do i do for living?  okay, just a brief explanation..i have several shares on other companies which some of them were IPO's (Initial Public Offering is a shares that some companies open to the public) and some went into equity on healthcare, technology and pharmaceutical.  Back to the main story, i was really into story telling when i was young, until i made decision ...

when I felt I was really manipulated and became a cleaner of someone's fault and to be blam of.  I quit.  because things were downhill and I might lose my mom.  people were oblivious. some of em. I quit.  I hate them. but I decided to build a new life.  past 2 weeks, I have resigned, I get so much busy than before. I cleaned up the house diligently, read books more than before.  I fall sick so bad.  I just realized, I don't want to get lonely   what made me felt lonely now because, I'm sick.i can't do much,all I do is sleep and rest and I'm lonely. luckily,I talked to God a lot.  there are several guys try to get to know me,but..I don't know,I just felt like they're trying to spare their time not get lonely too. Which is okay...but,this is not cool man. maybe I'm in phase pretty sick right now, so my mood swing is a stardom. I hope I get better and find my tempo back to read and write. what I write is article,I don't read novels and don't kno...

this is the site for personal trivia.  despite for the hate. I  sometimes feel loved by whom free to cascade their love. thank you for loving me. thank you qis. I'd run and chase my real dream as financial author. love u qis....

Mom got sick when I was pretty young. I was 23. People couldn't believed that I didnt and don't  have a boyfriend. Way before mom got stroke, mom already had many difficulties and she always sick. So, I was the only child stayed beside her and helped her.  So I had no ample time to go out with friends. I didn't have teens life actually. Never had a trip. Never had a camping. Never had those things. My ever first trip when I was working with PBLT. We went to Langkawi and we took cruise. Wuuuu. I hit the jackpot. That was the last enjoyment that I had while working. Masuk HSBC. Neraka. Masuk Malakoff...hmmm entah. Tapi best la juga. Alhamdulillah. Dengar cerita dulu orang Malakoff lagi gila. Company trip pergi China/jepun wei. Gilloo.  When I was 23 to 24, I started join HSBC. Time Tue macam bangga la kununn. Bangga dgn diri sendiri. My parents were proud of me too. Masatu boat, nekad nak belajar Brock stocks nak itu nak ini. Ah macam². Tapi bila dah masuk...hmmmm tak semua...

What is life anyway.. what's the purpose of i live?  People get married, then i wanna get married. people have that. welp i wanna have that.  The fundamental is wrong!  Some of us are destined to be different.  I am different with my friends since i was a young girl. I was and still frugal when it comes to price, when it comes to food. when i eat, i'm gonna make sure its not just price, but i won't hesty and leave my food just like that. i gonna finish everything on my plate. They thought i was only starving, the fundamental is. when u appreciate God's blessings, do not waste. Do not teach ur kids to be like that.  When someone came up to me, to eat. i'm gonna buy a new one for em. New, not with my leftovers. Why am i mentioning this? what's the point anyway?  My intention is just, appreciate your life with gratefulness. By? your attitude.  When it came to dedication, beat it. i was the most diligent when i was a student, and it takes for years for me ...

 I got criticize a lot for wearing burgundy lipstick like Taylor swift used to wear. hee.  There was a time, CFO said.. aisha tu kuat melaram je, bukan reti buat keje.  oh my.. that stab my heart profusely... where the inspiration came..  hmm what i try to resemble..  and it turns out... not very...ah apa2 jelah. haha i have the merchandise now.. eheee   masa zira kawen, i got very happy after chilling taylor concert at home. 

I guess i love this girl.  Aren't they sooooo compatible each other? past 3 days, i mengigau.. pastu.. i mcm nampak muka changmin kat siling bilik i. and then i nampak muka dia yg tersipu2 malu tu... hahahhaha bodoh yet sweet la mimpi tu. and then.. i ambik phone nak snap muka si pak amin ni. tanggg! henpon jatuh kat muka. ok. sambung tido balik.   we always hang out like always..  lips color code: Red Granite

When i was younger, i have tremendous of emotions and i will write about it with mixed feelings. Sometimes, i was writing furiously on my diary, sometimes i was weeping very hard. and till some point, i have become so exhausted. and i'm getting older. and i'm becoming more calm i guess. There were many hurdles since mom got the second stroke and i was like.. really alone getting through this. besides that i know Allah is with me.. but.. yeah.. i was thinking to get married before i reach 30. which is this year.. but, i guess i cant. and i'm becoming more calm..getting to know that its impossible for me to have certain phase in my life. I'm glad that i can avoiding those guys and becoming more eloquent to say that i cant be with em. Which.. sometimes.. i do.. fell like really .. like wanted to spend all of my life as a foster mom and wanted to die early. I'll make a research on what Rasulullah have taught us on certain prayers. I'll pray that i'll...

What i've learnt along the way in implication of the good deeds are ,... you must be respectful to the one that u would help. Whether u speak kimdly or arrogantly.. You choose.. You are kind but.. You belittle me. I take that as a challenge. You are kind but... Your act are showing that ur craving more on people attention not pleasing the God. You are kind... In front of the people only. But when we are two, i know that ur not genuine. U are way older than me, i should take care of you someday, but i guess.. u dont need me. maybe i just take care of u from afar.

One of the reason aku masuk finance, aku suka write up.. dan suka cerita tentang duit. haha .. padahal duit sendiri pon tak banyak, tapi aku suka ilmu.. aku suka bfm..sbb bfm best.. apart of boring songs, content dia terrbaik. Ikim is the num one.. nothing can beat that station, lagi2 pagi kan ada DJ pyann. dgr celoteh dia, nasihat dia .. i guess once being a saunana's fan, always be their fans! So its normal that my old and ex friemds asked me, bila nak kawen.. Bila nak ada anak.. Truth is guys.. my life is different to you.. ye aku tau ko pon keje, nak jaga anak blablablaa.. My life is 110% dedicated to my mom. last month, mak jatuh bilik air., mak mmg dah paralyzed area kiri dalam 5 tahun.. Bila mak jatuh tu, mak dah jd mcm paralyzed satu badan. As i remember, i didnt devastated that much, but i kept crying while driving. seeing my mom cant breath (hardly breathe) made me so sad but deep in my heart, i am ready to let her go to Allah swt Subhanallah. mak panjang ...

Mak2 patut menjaga kesihatan dpd muda. bukan hanya utk kelihatan cantik..  Tapi lebih dpd itu..  Itu yang aku belajar setelah 4-5 hari dekat Hosp ni.. aku sedih tengok mak2 yang sakit kencing manis, kaki berdarah, bernanah, obese yng mmg tahap serius, anak2 masih 7, 8 tahun.. Allahuakbar.. Boleh bayang tak anak tu nak pursue impian dia mcm mana?  aku faham.. aku sedih sangat bila aku tgk adik2 ni kena lalui sedangkan dia terlalu muda. Aku boleh faham sbb aku banyak lepaskan impian aku waktu aku remaja dlu. Mak tak ada kencing manis yang sampai kritikal waktu aku zaman sekolah. Tapi mak ada masalah depresi.  Mak lepaskan depressed mak dgn makan. mak makan dgn tak terkawal waktu aku start Tingkatan 2 sampai aku masuk Kolej Islam. waktu tu aku 19 tahun kot.. dia proceed smpi aku 20.. aku decide aku nak lose weight masatu, sbb aku berat 80kg time tu. gila. hahaha. Sebenarnya aku pon depressed time tu, aku dah lupakan apa yg berlaku waktu yg tak best ...

Social media is my opponent right now.  especially instagram.  banned..  I felt so lonely when i saw my friends had a blast in their life when they got someone special and plan to get married.  Its normal rite? because i am a human being.. have a tendency to be loved and loved. and it makes me sad thinking how rigid my life is..  and i talk to my girlfriend.. kak zie.. which is very passionate talking about TVXQ. Well actually we got a clash of interest.. which i like Taylor swift of all time and she's with TVXQ. its okey, but our conversation became really weird and it didnt continuosly flow like others. So it went like, omg tay got a curves now and she's a hottie!! and she's like.. what? she should gain more and started to complain her appearance..waittt..what???.. and it went like.. dont talk about my baby like that! -.-  and lately i watch tvxq most. (i'm so sorry taytay..i do this because of friendship)  It all starts ...

My mom got stroke when i was 23, and i was so immersed into 'how i can get rich' when i was younger..  If only i can explain to my old me that time, that you should learn this, u should equipped urself with this book. Recall this surah. Make this as ur habit!  If only my thoughts was how to be like an islamic scholar and live a better life. Not with those hanky panky silly trends.. but Allah loves me, He made me into who i am today.. Yes, i made mistakes too. My brothers did it too. others did it too.  Just because i always on my mum side, doesn't mean that i'm much better than everyone.  I lose my temper too.. sometimes.. and it hurts me, myself...the most afflicted is my mom..she was broken hearted.  I forgive them, and i forgive myself..and i won't hurt my mom's feeling ever again. and others as well. If it looks like i'm the only one who hurts, then..let it be. Allah will heal my heart eventually and it happened a lot actually. Its...

If marriage is a total shipwreck, Nabi wouldnt get married. My friend, whom took granted on her parents. Her mom died, and his dad keep on living , be loved by the grandchild in this life.. and yet, she got married with an imam and a successful man. My friend, whom chose her friends beside her parients already had a blissful party at the beach and heard that she's pursuing her doctorate. While i, let fo of the people that i love, let go the moments that i burn, leave everything just like that. I wonder what Allah has prepared for me.. Ya allah.. i cant imagine how Gracious You Are.. I keep on going. even my shoulders are sprained. My back is hurt, my stomach is swollen, i cant wait to meet U one day My Lord.. please please..

Since i only choose selected people around me. When i got proposed with someone. with several men. so, i was like stunned. nothing like this has ever happened before. With mom keep persuading me to get married. Okey! i will get married. But so now u see, i will take a long break. like long enough. maybe a month. so i wanna know what will happen and i just wanted to look from behind. Its not being someone whom evil. But since people keep forcing me. then, i have no chance to resist. kalau u nak boleh je. i boleh buat. i boleh. insyaallah. I stop the conversation, i took a wudhuk. and i pray to Allah... i talk to Him. even i know Allah already know everything abt this. But this, hmm. this is beyond. I said.. "ya allah, i need someone to talk to. and someone tell me, what should i do" and Allah send someone whom very nice to me all this while. but we're not that close actually. and i speak to her with many things that i'm juggling rn. Its just so sad. ...

Besides of talking to my God.  I also found my serenity with words. and read.  Apparently, these are only my remedies. Cool! I dont need to shop, no vacations, no no no. I just sometimes find something good to eat. Good tips on sudoku, good accompany too. But since i was picky to whom to be closed to me..i only got several people. Around 2 or 3.  I'm that secretive.  Especially with guys.  Whats up with guys?  Are they that dead easily falling into a girl on the internet...  what.. just look on the photos, u already fallen in love?  wanna marry me.. hmm i dont think so.  Although i'm getting older and not that pretty. not that skinny. But those things just bother me. I hope i can be friends just like i was with khairi, mahathir, kacang, puven, sasi, bad.. Nothing exceptional.  I'm writing back bcz i hope and i believed that they don't read this anymore. Its just 4 me.  Talk anything u wan...

Back on 2009, i was 19.. I was so immersed in my world. I imagine that, and i write. But when i gradually older. My perception changes. I try to write im mor matured ways, eloquent style, simple phrases. So the young one can understand me too. I don't write to impress the adult. I write necause i wanna reach the younger one and reach em and talk to them, and we would create 2 way conversation. But of course sometimes i'm gonna write more extensive way and commemorating the advicacy and literacy that we're facing in this country. Look back into my old rare selfie collections, i do feel old. Yes, not comparing to u. To me of course! I still have the sam habit, bring book and pen whenever i'm at. If anything sparks into my mind. I will write and ignore the others. So far, as i'm getting older. Its tough that creating a masterpiece that would link to the youths but still relate to the proffesionals. Gosh, its really something. So this is like a confession of m...

So yesterday, i did something bad. Sebenarnya, aku pon pelik..In what perception that people used to call me someone that can inspire others? Dira letak nama anak dia 'aishah', in commemorating my strengths katanya. Wan kama letak nama anak dia aishah, akak tgkt 12, i already forget her name, letak aishah too. Akak nak dia jd mcm awak. No. its derived from saidatina aishah. siti aishah is no one. But i just kept quite.   I get so overwhelmed by mom's emotion. That's what i've been telling my closed friends that, i'm so afraid of my ending.  Can u imagine that i'll die in tragic ways after struggling so hard to cope with everything and at last. I got none...?  That's the problem. That's the problem. People used to have kind of perception that i am doing so well everytime. Jaga mak sakit ini, bukan senang. I have to handle housechores, my assignments, exams, urut mak setiap kali dia sakit, oh that's not include that she got sick...

Deaths shouldnt get a happy reaction for all of us. Regardless of our faiths (religion). and so, Kim Jong Hyun was found dead on 18 dec, leaving the Kpop fans mourning and devastated.  If only he knew that his life is not end on top of the pitfalls.  If only he knew what ties that will keep his safe and calm.  If he knew that.  Depression can kill.  I was depressed too. I was tragically depressed. And people around me took advantage on that, made me as a scapegoat. Then, i realized. I need to control myself, help myself. Others can do NOTHING.  Even i am a muslim, was born with Islam, I struggle so hard to find eternity. and this success is only when i remember Him.  Malay culture is the worst, compared with my chinese, indians friends on HSBC. Oh, let alone my malay friends on HSBC. They were really genuine.  But, i'm talking of the general issue of malays.  Orang berjaya lebih sikit, caras! Depan2 baik, pi...