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The Suicide Trend.

Deaths shouldnt get a happy reaction for all of us. Regardless of our faiths (religion). and so, Kim Jong Hyun was found dead on 18 dec, leaving the Kpop fans mourning and devastated. 
If only he knew that his life is not end on top of the pitfalls. 

If only he knew what ties that will keep his safe and calm. 

If he knew that. 

Depression can kill. 

I was depressed too. I was tragically depressed. And people around me took advantage on that, made me as a scapegoat. Then, i realized. I need to control myself, help myself. Others can do NOTHING. 

Even i am a muslim, was born with Islam, I struggle so hard to find eternity. and this success is only when i remember Him. 

Malay culture is the worst, compared with my chinese, indians friends on HSBC. Oh, let alone my malay friends on HSBC. They were really genuine. 

But, i'm talking of the general issue of malays. 
Orang berjaya lebih sikit, caras!
Depan2 baik, pijak semut x mati. 
Konon tumpang gembira, tapi.., haram. 

You know what i made to stay and fight all over again? 

I talked to Allah a lot. Really a lotttt. With lot of doa, with lot of complaints. Did you know that we can complaint to Allah? 

Did u know that 3 pious men that trapped in a cave?The link of the story is here.  http://hani51.blogspot.my/2012/06/kisah-3-pemuda-terperangkap-di-dalam.html

So, i tell Allah a lot for what i did. and i asked Allah, is my position is salvageable ? 

I took myself from time to time, to get closed with Him. Sebenarnya i kesian kat dorang, dorang mcm x ada ikatan yg menarik dorang supaya bertahan. 

I concern of the non muslims who died in tragic ways. Including any other cause of deaths. 
I'm thinking, what would be my answer in front of Allah later? when my non muslims friends will say, "oh,.aisha didn't portray the image of Islam well, how can i be attracted to islam? She didn't even asked me to know what Islam is!"

He said, I pray that u dont get hurt. You'll be happy. Well, someone said that on a shinee website



Jujur la kan, I cant imagine my life without Islam. I cant imagine my life without the love of Allah and Rasulullah. I cant.. so thats why i bertahan. The companions made me strong too. 

Because i know there wont be any people to read this, although.. adalah dulu kawan2 lama yg selalu tggu post blog ini. But i believe, there would be no waiting to read this. I'm writing this because i wont appease till i post this. I totally feel bad for them.
I totally feel affinity towards humanity. The only makes us difference is our FAITH. Akidah kita. Tuhan kita. 

I just cant imagine how Rasulullah had to face, loving us before we even existed in this world! Well, he wasn't oblivious man. He was so.. i dunno. urgh, this feeling is bad. 


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