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What i've learnt . again.

When i was younger, i have tremendous of emotions and i will write about it with mixed feelings. Sometimes, i was writing furiously on my diary, sometimes i was weeping very hard. and till some point, i have become so exhausted.

and i'm getting older.

and i'm becoming more calm i guess.

There were many hurdles since mom got the second stroke and i was like.. really alone getting through this. besides that i know Allah is with me.. but.. yeah..

i was thinking to get married before i reach 30. which is this year.. but, i guess i cant. and i'm becoming more calm..getting to know that its impossible for me to have certain phase in my life. I'm glad that i can avoiding those guys and becoming more eloquent to say that i cant be with em. Which.. sometimes.. i do.. fell like really .. like wanted to spend all of my life as a foster mom and wanted to die early.

I'll make a research on what Rasulullah have taught us on certain prayers.

I'll pray that i'll die in a good way. so that.. i can be alive in the next life with a good way.

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