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Showing posts from September, 2018

Shut down.

Since i only choose selected people around me. When i got proposed with someone. with several men. so, i was like stunned. nothing like this has ever happened before. With mom keep persuading me to get married. Okey! i will get married. But so now u see, i will take a long break. like long enough. maybe a month. so i wanna know what will happen and i just wanted to look from behind. Its not being someone whom evil. But since people keep forcing me. then, i have no chance to resist. kalau u nak boleh je. i boleh buat. i boleh. insyaallah. I stop the conversation, i took a wudhuk. and i pray to Allah... i talk to Him. even i know Allah already know everything abt this. But this, hmm. this is beyond. I said.. "ya allah, i need someone to talk to. and someone tell me, what should i do" and Allah send someone whom very nice to me all this while. but we're not that close actually. and i speak to her with many things that i'm juggling rn. Its just so sad.

Besides that

Besides of talking to my God.  I also found my serenity with words. and read.  Apparently, these are only my remedies. Cool! I dont need to shop, no vacations, no no no. I just sometimes find something good to eat. Good tips on sudoku, good accompany too. But since i was picky to whom to be closed to me..i only got several people. Around 2 or 3.  I'm that secretive.  Especially with guys.  Whats up with guys?  Are they that dead easily falling into a girl on the internet...  what.. just look on the photos, u already fallen in love?  wanna marry me.. hmm i dont think so.  Although i'm getting older and not that pretty. not that skinny. But those things just bother me. I hope i can be friends just like i was with khairi, mahathir, kacang, puven, sasi, bad.. Nothing exceptional.  I'm writing back bcz i hope and i believed that they don't read this anymore. Its just 4 me.  Talk anything u want! i dont care! What!? i wont get marr