aishasaad

What is life anyway.. what's the purpose of i live?  People get married, then i wanna get married. people have that. welp i wanna have that.  The fundamental is wrong!  Some of us are destined to be different.  I am different with my friends since i was a young girl. I was and still frugal when it comes to price, when it comes to food. when i eat, i'm gonna make sure its not just price, but i won't hesty and leave my food just like that. i gonna finish everything on my plate. They thought i was only starving, the fundamental is. when u appreciate God's blessings, do not waste. Do not teach ur kids to be like that.  When someone came up to me, to eat. i'm gonna buy a new one for em. New, not with my leftovers. Why am i mentioning this? what's the point anyway?  My intention is just, appreciate your life with gratefulness. By? your attitude.  When it came to dedication, beat it. i was the most diligent when i was a student, and it takes for years for me ...

 I got criticize a lot for wearing burgundy lipstick like Taylor swift used to wear. hee.  There was a time, CFO said.. aisha tu kuat melaram je, bukan reti buat keje.  oh my.. that stab my heart profusely... where the inspiration came..  hmm what i try to resemble..  and it turns out... not very...ah apa2 jelah. haha i have the merchandise now.. eheee   masa zira kawen, i got very happy after chilling taylor concert at home. 

I guess i love this girl.  Aren't they sooooo compatible each other? past 3 days, i mengigau.. pastu.. i mcm nampak muka changmin kat siling bilik i. and then i nampak muka dia yg tersipu2 malu tu... hahahhaha bodoh yet sweet la mimpi tu. and then.. i ambik phone nak snap muka si pak amin ni. tanggg! henpon jatuh kat muka. ok. sambung tido balik.   we always hang out like always..  lips color code: Red Granite

When i was younger, i have tremendous of emotions and i will write about it with mixed feelings. Sometimes, i was writing furiously on my diary, sometimes i was weeping very hard. and till some point, i have become so exhausted. and i'm getting older. and i'm becoming more calm i guess. There were many hurdles since mom got the second stroke and i was like.. really alone getting through this. besides that i know Allah is with me.. but.. yeah.. i was thinking to get married before i reach 30. which is this year.. but, i guess i cant. and i'm becoming more calm..getting to know that its impossible for me to have certain phase in my life. I'm glad that i can avoiding those guys and becoming more eloquent to say that i cant be with em. Which.. sometimes.. i do.. fell like really .. like wanted to spend all of my life as a foster mom and wanted to die early. I'll make a research on what Rasulullah have taught us on certain prayers. I'll pray that i'll...

What i've learnt along the way in implication of the good deeds are ,... you must be respectful to the one that u would help. Whether u speak kimdly or arrogantly.. You choose.. You are kind but.. You belittle me. I take that as a challenge. You are kind but... Your act are showing that ur craving more on people attention not pleasing the God. You are kind... In front of the people only. But when we are two, i know that ur not genuine. U are way older than me, i should take care of you someday, but i guess.. u dont need me. maybe i just take care of u from afar.

One of the reason aku masuk finance, aku suka write up.. dan suka cerita tentang duit. haha .. padahal duit sendiri pon tak banyak, tapi aku suka ilmu.. aku suka bfm..sbb bfm best.. apart of boring songs, content dia terrbaik. Ikim is the num one.. nothing can beat that station, lagi2 pagi kan ada DJ pyann. dgr celoteh dia, nasihat dia .. i guess once being a saunana's fan, always be their fans! So its normal that my old and ex friemds asked me, bila nak kawen.. Bila nak ada anak.. Truth is guys.. my life is different to you.. ye aku tau ko pon keje, nak jaga anak blablablaa.. My life is 110% dedicated to my mom. last month, mak jatuh bilik air., mak mmg dah paralyzed area kiri dalam 5 tahun.. Bila mak jatuh tu, mak dah jd mcm paralyzed satu badan. As i remember, i didnt devastated that much, but i kept crying while driving. seeing my mom cant breath (hardly breathe) made me so sad but deep in my heart, i am ready to let her go to Allah swt Subhanallah. mak panjang ...

Mak2 patut menjaga kesihatan dpd muda. bukan hanya utk kelihatan cantik..  Tapi lebih dpd itu..  Itu yang aku belajar setelah 4-5 hari dekat Hosp ni.. aku sedih tengok mak2 yang sakit kencing manis, kaki berdarah, bernanah, obese yng mmg tahap serius, anak2 masih 7, 8 tahun.. Allahuakbar.. Boleh bayang tak anak tu nak pursue impian dia mcm mana?  aku faham.. aku sedih sangat bila aku tgk adik2 ni kena lalui sedangkan dia terlalu muda. Aku boleh faham sbb aku banyak lepaskan impian aku waktu aku remaja dlu. Mak tak ada kencing manis yang sampai kritikal waktu aku zaman sekolah. Tapi mak ada masalah depresi.  Mak lepaskan depressed mak dgn makan. mak makan dgn tak terkawal waktu aku start Tingkatan 2 sampai aku masuk Kolej Islam. waktu tu aku 19 tahun kot.. dia proceed smpi aku 20.. aku decide aku nak lose weight masatu, sbb aku berat 80kg time tu. gila. hahaha. Sebenarnya aku pon depressed time tu, aku dah lupakan apa yg berlaku waktu yg tak best ...